Audacity Before Confidence: Why I Stopped Waiting to Feel Ready

For a long time, I believed confidence came first.

I thought there would be a day when I would finally feel qualified enough.

Qualified enough to speak.

Qualified enough to teach.

Qualified enough to mentor.

Qualified enough to call myself someone who truly belonged in tech.

I kept waiting for that feeling.

It never came.

If you looked at my LinkedIn today, you would see someone who has spoken at AWS Community Day Pwani, serves as an AWS Community Builder (Serverless), mentors beginners through the CloudHER Mentorship Program, and regularly hosts beginner-friendly cloud sessions.

What you wouldn't see is how many times I almost talked myself out of every one of those opportunities.

Because none of them began with confidence.

They began with doubt.

They began with fear.

They began with a quiet voice asking,

"Who do you think you are?"

Looking back, I've realized something that changed the way I approach opportunities.

Confidence didn't get me here.

Audacity did.

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## The Story I Kept Telling Myself

When I returned to tech through the AWS re/Start program, I wasn't trying to become visible.

I was simply trying to find my place again.

I was learning AWS one service at a time.

I was trying to understand networking.

IAM.

Terraform.

Infrastructure as Code.

Some days I felt like I was making progress.

Other days I questioned whether I was learning fast enough.

Like many people starting out, I constantly compared myself to engineers who had years of experience.

Those were the people I believed deserved to teach.

To speak at conferences.

To mentor others.

To lead conversations.

I convinced myself that my job was to keep learning quietly until one day I had "earned" the right to do those things.

The problem was that every time I learned something new, I simply moved the finish line.

There was always another certification.

Another skill.

Another reason why I still wasn't ready.

---

## The First "Yes"

The first time I was asked to host a technical session, my immediate reaction wasn't excitement.

It was panic.

"Surely there is someone who knows this better than I do."

I almost convinced myself to say no.

Not because I didn't want the opportunity.

Because I didn't think I deserved it.

I thought about engineers who had spent five years in cloud.

Ten years.

People building production systems every day.

Who was I to stand in front of people and explain cloud concepts when I was still learning them myself?

Then I realized something that has stayed with me ever since.

I wasn't being asked to know everything.

I was being asked to share what I knew.

Those are two very different things.

So I said yes.

Not because I suddenly felt confident.

But because I realized confidence couldn't keep being the gatekeeper to every opportunity.

---

## Raising My Hand

As I became more involved in the community, AWS Community Day Pwani announced a Call for Speakers.

Everything inside me wanted to submit a session.

Everything inside me also tried to convince me not to.

"You're too new."

"People with more experience should be on that stage."

"Maybe next year."

But I had spent enough time waiting for "one day."

So I submitted my session anyway.

When I received the acceptance email, I was excited.

Then reality sank in.

I was actually going to stand on a stage and speak at one of the biggest AWS community events in Kenya.

The fear didn't disappear.

I simply decided it wasn't going to make the decision for me.

Not long after, the organizers opened a call for volunteers to join the Women in Tech panel discussion.

Once again, I almost stayed silent.

I looked at women in the community whom I admired, women with years of experience and convinced myself they had far more valuable stories to tell.

Then I caught myself doing what I had always done.

Waiting for permission.

So I volunteered.

Not because I believed I was the most qualified person.

But because I was beginning to understand that opportunities are not reserved only for people who feel ready.

Sometimes they are for the people willing to raise their hand.

---

## Choosing to Mentor While Still Learning

One opportunity challenged me in a completely different way.

When applications opened for the CloudHER Mentorship Program, I found myself staring at two choices.

Should I apply as a mentee?

Or should I apply as a mentor?

I wrestled with that decision for days.

The logical part of me said,

"You're still learning. Apply as a mentee."

After all, I was still building projects.

Still studying cloud.

Still troubleshooting Terraform.

Still searching for my first opportunity in the industry.

Who was I to mentor anyone?

But another thought kept coming back to me.

I thought about the beginners who were exactly where I had been not long ago.

Confused.

Overwhelmed.

Wondering where to begin.

I realized something important.

I didn't have to know everything to help someone take their first steps.

Sometimes being just a few steps ahead is enough to make a difference.

So, with more audacity than confidence, I applied to become a mentor.

To my surprise, I was selected.

That experience completely changed how I think about mentorship.

I used to believe mentors were people who had already reached the top of the mountain.

Now I see mentorship differently.

Sometimes it's simply someone who has walked a little further down the path and chooses to turn around to help the next person.

Working with my mentees has reminded me that growth isn't one-sided.

As I encourage them to believe in themselves, they unknowingly remind me how far I've come.

We are all becoming.

Just at different stages of the journey.

---

## What These Opportunities Taught Me

Hosting technical sessions.

Speaking at AWS Community Day.

Volunteering to be a panelist.

Applying to become a mentor.

None of those decisions came from certainty.

They came from choosing to act before I felt ready.

Every single one of those experiences taught me something I could never have learned by staying on the sidelines.

Confidence isn't built by waiting.

It's built by doing.

It grows every time we survive something we once believed was beyond us.

---

## Beyond Tech

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that this isn't only about technology.

It's about life.

How many opportunities do we quietly walk away from because we don't think we're qualified enough?

How many conversations do we never start because we assume someone else has more to offer?

How many dreams stay on the shelf because we're waiting to feel fearless?

The truth is, fear rarely disappears first.

We simply learn that it doesn't have to make our decisions.

---

## To Anyone Waiting to Feel Ready

If you're waiting until you know everything before you apply...

If you're waiting until you feel confident before you raise your hand...

If you're waiting until someone gives you permission to belong...

Please don't wait as long as I did.

You don't need to have all the answers before you start contributing.

You don't need years of experience before sharing what you've learned.

You don't need a perfect career before encouraging someone else.

Sometimes your perspective matters precisely because you're still learning.

Sometimes your story is exactly what someone else needs to hear.

And sometimes, the opportunity you're talking yourself out of is the very one that will change your life.

---

## Closing

Today, I still get nervous.

I still overthink applications.

I still wonder whether I know enough.

I'm still learning.

Still building.

Still applying for opportunities.

Still growing into the engineer I hope to become.

The difference is that I no longer wait for confidence to arrive before I move.

I've learned that confidence is usually the reward—not the requirement.

The opportunities that have shaped my journey didn't begin with certainty.

They began with one small decision.

To submit the application.

To volunteer.

To teach.

To mentor.

To raise my hand.

To say yes before I felt ready.

Because confidence didn't open those doors.

Audacity did.